For Willow
Oh Willow Ruth. Willow Billow. How I really, really love you.
You’ve made me a mom of 2. You’ve shown me that I can indeed love another child the way I love your big sister Penny - there was a time I thought that wasn’t possible. But it most definitely is. You 2 girls have changed my world and self forever. The best improvements I could ask for.
Since your arrival 4 months ago, you’ve spent most of your time in my arms. They’ve been the sweetest, most unproductive times of my life, and it’s safe to say I’ve worn out “the dishes can wait, the baby can’t” phrase by now.
Before having babies, I was terrified of them. Let’s be honest, after having babies, I was terrified of them. I’ll never sleep again. I’ll never be alone again. I’ll never take a long shower again. I’ll never take my time at a meal or at Target (or anywhere) again. I’ll never have time in general again or a conversation I can offer my undivided attention to. I’ll never not be needed again. And I’ll never know joy like I do these days.
Because when all these things cease to be true, you girls cease to be little. And when that time comes, oh how my heart will ache to have even just 1 day of it back.
Being the second baby has its perks. I have some experience under my tighter than ever belt this go round. The fact that it’s not my first rodeo gives you a fairly more confident mama. I still change diapers prematurely at first sight of a blue line and get very anxious during inconsolable tears. I still put my finger under tiny nostrils till I feel sweet, warm air breathing in and out during sleep sessions of any length. I still ask God every single night to keep little hearts beating, little lungs breathing and little bodies the perfect temperature while you sleep. I may have been there, done that in the baby department, but I fully depend on the good Lord above to keep you both alive and make no bones about asking Him to. I may be knee-deep in post blowout onesies needing stain remover, but your every breath is in God’s hands. In that I find much needed rest.
You have crystal clear blue almond-shaped eyes. Just beautiful. Your hair sticks straight up - your faux hawk is au naturale and not attention starved. It’s especially fuzzy after baths and I love that. You smile so big so often, especially when you wake up and see us for the first time. You love holding onto my finger with your tiny hand and resting your foot on my arm. Your sister makes you giggle but squeal when she over cuddles (smothers) you, which is daily. You have the sweetest pouty lip when you’re sad. You kick kick kick your little legs anytime you’re on your back, making sure we’re watching when you do. You are over-kissed but don’t mind at all, and you’re starting to open your mouth to return them. Your baby rolls are the best - you are one healthy baby girl. And you sure are loved.
Baby girl #2, you’ve opened my eyes. To what I’m capable of and not so capable of. To doing less but feeling more. To prioritizing what’s important, that what’s important right now is being with you and finding a balance for everything else. You won’t always be a baby and fit perfectly in my arms, but while you do, I want you to.
Just 4 months in and I’m smitten with our family of 4. I can hardly imagine a time you weren’t here. You’ve shown me more love than I knew I could feel. This baby stage seems endless at times but as your sister proved, it isn’t. I look forward to watching you grow every step of the way and will continue thanking God that you’re mine. I love you little Willow.
Tyler took some photos of Willow on the 4th of July when she was 3 months old. The editing and writing happened a whole month later, a testament to how long everything takes us to do now! Better late than never. Click here to see em!
