For Dad
In honor of Father’s Day (and breaking my 7 month writing hiatus), I’ve been planning to write a post about my dad. For over a week I’ve wanted to call him and do an interview for content ideas. With the 3 hour time difference between us (he in West Virginia and me in CA) and my children who refuse to synchronize sleep, it just wasn’t happening. But Friday night, at 10pm my time and 1am his, we finally we’re able to talk.
I had 3 questions in mind, and in my quietest non-whispering voice (when children who refuse to synchronize sleep are synchronize sleeping, you take no chances), I launched into my first topic. If you know my dad, it will come as no surprise that question #1 was about music: when and how did he get started? Though I already knew some of the answer based on my upbringing and various bios, I took 2 pages of notes as he talked.
He told me about the first time he ever saw a guitar. He was 10 years old and staying at his “Granny Smith’s” house. (I never knew my dad’s grandmother was actually called Granny Smith. How fun is that?) Though he had never seen a steel guitar before, with the handle of a table knife he started sliding down the frets. He didn’t even know why this was his inclination. In a matter of years the whole world would.
He told me about playing trumpet in his 7th grade band and learning to play guitar chords at age 12. He played lead guitar in his high school band The Teen Tones and knew then that music is what he wanted to do. When he was 15 he got a lap steel but wasn’t too interested in it until discovering the pedal steel. “To be able to change the tone without moving the bar”, that’s what did it for him. The pedals were a game changer. At age 17 he learned to play pedal steel.
That same year, his high school band was discovered and got a record deal in Vegas. They drove all the way there from West Virginia to make it happen. They stayed in Vegas and played music at a club making $250 a week, a lot of money in 1959 especially for teenage boys. This was the beginning of Dad’s career in music. He left home then and never returned.
After Vegas was Chicago, where he played with a band called The Versatones for a few years. His big break came next when he booked the Slim Mims Show, which filmed in South Carolina (click here to see a clip of Dad singing on the show). He made it to Nashville in 1967 after getting hired to play steel guitar in Connie Smith’s band, his favorite female country singer. His reputation as a musician who could play anything and was a master on the steel grew rapidly. He was on tours, in bands and in studios from that point on.
A band he joined in the 70’s was Barefoot Jerry, a group of some of the finest studio musicians Nashville’s ever seen. He did a lot of pickin’ and a little writing too, his most popular song being Two Mile Pike, where each musicians’ solo showcased his instrument like no other, especially the steel. The song is so incredible that last year the Foo Fighterschose it to represent the city of Nashville in their documentary (and 8th album) Sonic Highways (click here to hear the song, and watch my dad tear it up on the steel at 1:01).
From 1980-1993, Dad was the staff steel guitar player for the hit tv show Hee Haw. If you’ve never heard of it, ask your parents, or look it up. It’s as country as television gets, and it was a chunk of my childhood. Yours Truly was born in the prime of these years, and since the show was filmed by Opryland, sometimes we went to the theme park while Dad worked. (If you’re reading this and remember the Opryland theme park, let’s take a moment of silence to remember its greatness. Opry Mills has nothing on that place.)
Music has taken my dad all over the world. He’s played with so many artists, including some of his all time favorites, like Connie Smith and Ray Price. He’s on hundreds of records and has contributed much to music worth listening to. In 2011, he was inducted into the International Steel Guitar Hall of Fame (click here to watch the amazing tribute video made by my brother in law). One of my proudest moments as his daughter was watching him receive such an honor for the unparalleled way he plays the steel. He even has a steel guitar brand named after him called The Russler. And this year in October he will be inducted into the West Virginia Hall of Fame. I’ll be there with bells on to honor him again.
Dad and I talked on the phone that night for 40 minutes. We talked about music which led to other topics. As we talked, I put my other questions aside so we could do just that, talk. I told him that to this day one of my biggest regrets was quitting piano lessons. I remember him telling my young teenage self that quitting was a big mistake, but I didn’t listen. Now my 30 year old self wishes I had. I told him that for 2 days now I had the Dolly Parton song Jolene in my head. He said that was funny because he played a gig the night before and that was one of the songs. I told him about how Penny is baffling us with her ability to memorize song lyrics and melodies. She can’t help her love for music, much credit to her Pappy for that.
Talking about my dad’s musical history was fun. I enjoyed hearing it from him and putting it into words. But him as a musician, while it’s a big part of his identity, is just a portion of what makes him my dad. My fondest memories are the times we spent together. Sitting on the couch watching TGIF thinking nothing was funnier than Steve Urkel saying “Did I do thaaat?”. Shooting baskets on the concrete slab he poured so I could play basketball at home. Teaching me to play Color My World on piano and Come As You Are on guitar. Cutting down the biggest Christmas tree we could find in the woods year after year. Picking me up from elementary school in his old cadillac, me being almost too embarrassed to get in. Driving my sister and I in his big old 4 wheel drive truck when we were snowed in and almost missed a high school Homecoming. Letting me go to college in California, flying there with me to get settled in, seeing him cry for only the second time in my life the day we said goodbye in my dorm room before he returned to Tennessee without me. Walking me down the aisle where the man of my dreams waited to take my hand from his.
Though childhood is behind me and adult life races on, these are the things I carry with me when I think of my dad. They helped shape me into not just a daughter but a person making marks in the world. I’m grateful for my dad, that he’s in the memories I have from my youth, that he cared about my life and loved me. He showed it, he said it and he means it still. That forever makes a difference.
We are both older now and due to current circumstances of life see each other less and less. But the love that began 30 years ago and continued through my days of wearing pigtails to kneepads to prom dresses and a wedding gown remains and presses on like it’s meant to do. The limitations of our time make it all the more special. He’s not just my dad but Pappy to my girls. It does my heart good to know they love each other.
Father’s Day has different meanings for everyone. All kinds of relationships exist between a father and child, some good, some bad, some complicated, some nonexistent. The truth is that all children have needs their fathers should tend to: love, provisions, care, comfort, advice, time, a presence. The best earthly fathers will fall short, we all have and do. That’s why today is such an incredible reminder of what we have in God as our Father. His love went beyond just saving us and adopted us into His family. We aren’t just His people, we are His children. He knew the hunger of our souls, that from childhood on we would need what only He can give. He’s met every need we’ll ever have. Come to Him and thirst no more.
I hope today, wherever your dad is, that you love him. That you forgive him for his imperfections and that he’s done the same for you. I also hope you know how much your Father in heaven loves you, that He is perfect in every way and forgives and loves you even though you aren’t. He has chosen you to be His, you are His daughter or son and will be forevermore. It’s a promise He can’t break, if only you believe.
Happy Father’s Day to my dad, Russ Hicks. The multi-talented man from West Virginia who’s fathered 4 daughters who love him and are loved in return.
Happy Father’s Day, Lord. Thank You for Your love to the world.
